Loneliness is a common problem in this world; many people suffer from it. But what makes loneliness in lightworkers so special? In this article, I'll try to explain that.

Loneliness in general

Roughly speaking, there are three phases in human development:

First, there is the phase of group consciousness. In this phase, people feel deeply connected to the tribe or the community in which they live. There is no loneliness – the connection with other members of the group is always deeply felt. During this phase, people do not really have an “I “ in the way we now have it.

After the group phase comes the phase where consciousness separates itself from the group and individuality emerges. The group is no longer the focus of consciousness, the individual personality is. This is the phase where most people now find themselves – the phase of the ego, the phase of loneliness. The ego, however, is not a thing, it is a measure that tells you how much you identify with your own personality. If you are strongly identified with your personality, then this identity becomes very important, and this is what is meant by a "big" ego.

Fortunately, human beings develop further. They look inward and discover a deeper layer, the layer of the soul, the inner light. This is phase three: the phase of the inner connection, an inner awareness of the light. The phase of the ego is the phase of the many, the phase of the soul is the phase of oneness.

There have always been people in the course of history who have identified with that deeper layer and those are the lightworkers. Lightworkers are, by nature, spiritual people. Their spirituality does not come from outer teachings, but from a deep inner knowing. It is a living spirituality based on love instead of the fear based spirituality of traditional religions.

So, these are the three phases: the group phase, the phase of the ego or loneliness, and the phase of the soul. In the phase of the ego, the human feels the loneliest – he or she is separate in the universe. The sense of belonging to a group is lost, and the connection with oneness has yet to be attained.                                                                     

In the phase of the ego, the individual feels threatened and that mirrors itself in the image we have of the world. We feel small and vulnerable in an alien universe. Our personality is like a little cage we have created for ourselves, which is mirrored in a modern city: all the tall buildings are made of small, separate "cages". Compare this with a natural environment, such as a forest, where there are many beings, yet all are part of a oneness.

Loneliness is made stronger by the way we deal with the budding personality of a child. A child is, in its personality, a girl or a boy. If you are a girl, you are expected to act as a girl, and if you are a boy, you are expected to act as a boy.  But if you stand up for your soul, you are told you are not acting as a boy or a girl should act, and this creates a feeling of confusion and loneliness.

The phase of oneness

Loneliness ends when you realize you are connected with everything, and that everything is One. It is the awareness of your own soul that gives you this insight. You know that you are part of a greater whole and you experience things that way. The human body is but a collection of single atoms, although you do not see it that way. Look at human beings, look deeply into their eyes and sense the mystery of consciousness, of timeless oneness behind all those atoms – a human being.

In the same way, you can look at the stars and feel in your heart the wholeness, the deep living mystery behind the physical universe. Do not think with your mind when you look up at the stars – feel the miracle, something from the divine. You feel this from your soul; you sense the unity behind everything, the unity of the universe. You understand that the many and the one belong to one another, like all the plants in a forest belong to the oneness of the forest.

This is the phase lightworkers are in. Why then can they sometimes feel so lonely?

Lightworkers

Lightworkers have transcended the stage of loneliness within themselves. They have experienced the light of unity and want to share that experience with people still in phase two, which is why they are called lightworkers. On Earth, there is so much suffering, so much loneliness, and, as lightworkers, they want to do something about that. They have returned from a world of light and unity to the world of separation and duality, and doing that is a very noble task.

Lightworkers have transcended the loneliness mentioned above and they can withdraw into meditation. listen to music, feel the radiance of unity. Then, when they step into the world, they can feel the loneliness, but it is not the loneliness of being divided inwardly.

Why then do lightworkers sometimes feel so lonely?

Two reasons:

First:  empathic loneliness

As a lightworker, you often have a very sensitive nature; you feel the loneliness of others, such as your parents, so you begin to carry this loneliness within yourself. Know that much of the loneliness that you feel is not yours, it is an empathic loneliness – you feel the suffering of this world, its dividedness. As a child, you start to take on the loneliness of your parents and you begin to experience it as your own, and later in your life the loneliness of many others. This is not your loneliness, it is a burden you carry.

How do you deal with this? By remembering your light, by remembering who you really are and restoring the connection with your soul. This is the only way to deal with the loneliness you sense around you. Feel your own light, feel your own love, and look at other people with the light of love. By doing this, you see the light in others, and you remind them of their own light, their own connection they have forgotten. This is what you initially came to do as a lightworker.

Second: not accepting that you are different 

The second thing is that you are different, and because of this, you think this is somehow wrong. This is often what you have learned: "being different is wrong, therefore you have to fit in and become a good member of society" – so you try to be like everybody else. You try to become a member of phase two. You try to become lonely! And, sadly enough, many lightworkers succeed.

You don’t accept yourself as you are, and this is the real cause of the feeling of loneliness – not accepting yourself. This is the reason for the paradox that many lightworkers experience in their lives: they do not feel lonely when there are alone in nature, but do feel lonely when they are amongst other people – so they desperately try to connect with others and to behave like them. By trying to connect to other people, they take on the loneliness of others.

Lightworkers often think that to be different means to be lonely, so they try not to be lonely by being like everybody else. But in doing so they suppress a part of themselves, and this is the real – inner – reason for the feeling of loneliness.

If you are different from others in your surroundings, that can give you a feeling of separation and loneliness – "there is something wrong with me". You want to fit in, to adapt to the fast-moving world because you think that is what you have to do. You then lose contact with your deepest self and that also gives you a feeling of loneliness.

Lightworkers should learn the following: only when you accept that you are different are you in tune with the universe. And this feeling of being in tune with the universe, this feeling of being connected, ends your loneliness.

Many lightworkers who came here to fulfill a mission have forgotten their mission. When you forget your purpose here, you adapt, but your mission was exactly the opposite, not to adapt, but to remain yourself.

Be faithful to your own light. Be aware of your sensitivity to the loneliness of others, and be aware that your mission is to be faithful to yourself and by doing this you will be different, you will be alone. But you will find that as a lightworker, when you truly say "yes" to yourself, you will feel light descend into you, a warmth emerges inside you, a feeling of being connected – then loneliness disappears.

Take a look at the loneliness that you feel – is it your loneliness or is it the feeling of your parents and the world around you? And do you think you have to carry all that? Do you feel you have to help others – parents, children, etc – that you are not allowed to live from your own joy? Do you feel you have to carry their burden?

How do you deal with this? How can you be amongst other people that are in the phase of loneliness?

Imagine this: you are talking with someone who is in the phase of ego and loneliness. The first instinct of many lightworkers is to adapt. You go along with a superficial conversation because you think that is the way you should act. You talk about the weather, family problems, and gossip along with that other person. Yet, your real self does not utter a word in this conversation, and the result is separation and loneliness.

Yet, what you should realize is this: people in the ego phase are completely helpless when it comes to expressing their soul – so you do that for them. When you are talking to them, simply ask yourself: "What does the soul of this person before me want to express?" The key to making a connection is not to express you own soul directly, but indirectly, by telling the other person what he or she really wants to talk about. This will activate the soul to soul connection.

You should try to not talk from your soul directly to the personality of the other person; if you do, your energy will probably be rejected and you will have to withdraw from the conversation in disappointment. First, you have to active the soul of the other person by simply expressing what their soul wants to express. How do you do this? By listening – really listening to the other person. Open yourself and listen with your heart. Even a conversation about the weather will express something of someone’s inner life. When you sense what it is, speak it out, and suddenly you will have a real conversation.

Remember your mission – to be a speaker of souls

As a lightworker, you did not come to this planet to feel lonely. You came here to relieve the loneliness of other people. You don’t have to carry their burden; you don’t have to be like them. This is the last thing you should try to do, which is a bit like a physician who wants to help his patients by getting their illness.

You are the healer, and how do you heal? By listening to other people, really listening and sensing what their souls want to say, and then expressing that. Many people cannot express the energy of their own soul, but you can do that for them. In your words, they sense the energy of their own soul, and this will bring healing to them and to the world.

Be a speaker of souls.

© Gerrit Gielen