by Gerrit Gielen

Many people continually bombard themselves with negative thoughts: “I cannot do this, this is not for me, I am weak, I must hide because who I am is bad, the world is not a safe place, this will probably go wrong”. Etcetera, etcetera.

How did this happen? Why do we do this? The reason for this self-destructive behavior is that all of us have at some point, whether in this life or a past life, been traumatized. Traumas are negative experiences that are so intense that our personality cannot handle them; a part of our awareness “freezes” and remains stuck in time.

Take, for example, someone who in a past life experienced how their country was occupied  during a war. People were picked up from the streets and suddenly disappeared. There was the continuous threat of violence and you could not feel safe anywhere. The past life personality suffered intensely from the overwhelming fear and could not come to terms with the situation for the rest of their life. A part of this person was traumatized and has become stuck in time, stuck in the reality of war, and keeps sending messages to the present day personality as if it is still war: “Life is dangerous, there is much violence out there, you cannot trust people, you are powerless.” The current personality does not realize that these persistent thoughts are related to a very different reality; he simply believes the messages and becomes used to viewing life through the eyes of the traumatized past life personality. Unfamiliar people are regarded with suspicion, there is a sense of doom and a fear of violence always in the background, and the belief that it is best to lock yourself in your house, because if you go out you may never return.

Trauma acts like a black hole

The traumatized part of us is the biggest source of the fears from which we suffer. Note that fear always tells us that there is something out there which is dangerous, hostile, and harmful. Fear makes you focus on the outside world as the source of your problems, and not on the trauma itself. When someone who is terrified of dogs is in the same room with a dog, their entire awareness will be focused on the dog, to the exclusion of everything else. But most of the time, the dog is not the problem; the real issue is their fear of dogs. If you keep on focusing on what is outside you, your perception becomes distorted. You focus on what you are afraid of and thus you tend to see it everywhere; your fear exaggerates the actual danger and you waste a lot of energy avoiding it.

This reactive pattern creates a vicious circle: the fear narrows down your perception of reality in such a way that reality seems to confirm and justify your fears even more. When you read the paper, your attention is automatically drawn to news about dogs attacking people or spreading infectious diseases. When you walk on the street, dogs seem to look at you in a threatening way, ready to jump at you. This circle keeps the traumatized part of you imprisoned, and that part of you cannot be released until the circle is broken. A traumatized part of the personality, caught in a vicious circle, can be viewed as a black hole inside us. It sucks up energy, it sucks up light, and it reverts us back into the past, to moments in time where our awareness became frozen and stuck.

I myself have an inborn fear of travelling. When we went on a trip to France this summer, I continually felt that the car would break down, and I saw signs of that everywhere. Just before we left, the belt of my trousers broke, an ominous sign, I thought. On the road, I noted stranded cars everywhere. When we were taking a break at a parking spot, I thought I saw traces of oil behind our car. On the car’s dashboard, a message light appeared that told us we should go to the garage to change the gear box oil (this later turned out to be a mistake in the dashboard’s computer). At another time, I noticed some tools in the back of the car, which to me felt like a sign that the car needed fixing. Etcetera, etcetera.

During the trip I decided to go within, into my black hole. I saw there a man lying at the side of a road, and I could only see his back. As I approached him, I was shocked; I saw his face and his eyes were stabbed out. He was far away from home, and the people there had not trusted him and had done this to him. He died, thinking of home, and wishing he had never left it.

In the past, I hardly ever travelled, nor did I drive a car. I thought I had very good reasons for this behavior, but I was unaware of the black hole inside me. Now, I travel often and the many trips we make bring me a lot of joy. All over the world, we have wonderful meetings with like-minded people and we enjoy visiting beautiful places in nature.

Arguing with people who are in a black hole, i.e. who have a narrow and fear-based perception of a particular issue, is hardly possible. When you try, they will immediately point to countless “facts” and reasons to back up their worldview. They refuse to open up to the possibility that their fear – and not the outside world – is actually the problem. They are convinced their fear is caused by actual threats in the outside world and is therefore reasonable and justified. If you do not agree with them, it is you who is being naïve: you refuse to see the obvious facts which are right under your nose. The bigger the fear, the more rigid and firm the beliefs. Many websites on the Internet, which are full of ominous predictions and conspiracy theories, originate from black holes on the inner level.

Black holes may become so powerful that they suck up and take over the whole personality; in such cases paranoia (extreme suspicion) will arise. Everything people say or do is interpreted in a negative way, which makes normal communication impossible. Threats and conspiracies are perceived to be all around. Friends and family members who try to break the spell of your obsessions, are considered to be under the influence of evil forces themselves.   The paranoid persona has become completely isolated and imprisoned within their own mind.

To some extent we all suffer from paranoia. Almost all of us have some inner black hole regarding a particular issue which distorts our perception and our relationship with other people.

What can you do?

1. Realise that there is a black hole inside you

The first and most important step is to recognise that a part of you has been traumatised and is sending messages to you which are not right. Whenever you notice that your thoughts are particularly negative, or whenever you feel disproportionally afraid of something and you expect the worst, be prepared to go within, into the black hole, and face the traumatized part. 

Ask yourself the following questions: “Could it be that there is a black hole inside me? Could it be that there is a traumatized part of me which distorts my entire view of reality, a part that shuts me off from all the good and positive things that happen around me? Is my outlook on reality and my attitude toward people based on fear or on love?”

2. Enter the black hole

Step into the black hole, not to suffer, but to bring light and love into this part of you. Make an image of the traumatized part. Imagine, for example, that it is a lost child, and realize that it needs a lot of love and caring. Connect with this child, look into its eyes, and feel what it needs to gradually release the fear.

Every time you find yourself harboring negative thoughts, gloomy feelings, or irrational fears about life, about people or society, encourage yourself to go within. Search for the black hole inside you: the prison of the traumatized part. Be present as a loving angel; bring comfort, reassurance, and light.

3. Tell yourself the truth

The gospel of John says: “The truth shall set you free.” Words that are true carry enormous power. Truth originates from love, not from fear. Feel the love available in the universe; feel the love of mother Earth for humanity; feel the love inside you and approach the traumatized part of you from this love. From that source, formulate a few short sentences and frequently repeat them aloud.

For example:

– Life is good to me.

– The Earth loves humanity and helps us.

– Humanity is awakening and becoming more aware of its unity; this unity is starting to manifest itself everywhere.

Speaking this kind of true message is a very powerful instrument when you wish to relinquish fear-based thoughts.

Nowadays, there is a lot of literature on “positive thinking”. People stand in front of the mirror and start to repeat positive messages to themselves: affirmations. This only makes sense if these messages are true, and they are true when they are based on love.

Someone may repeat to themselves: “I am rich, I am rich”, hoping that reality will conform to their intention. But is this affirmation based on love, or on the fear of lack, the fear that the universe will not take care of them? If the latter is the case, the affirmation will not work.

Before you start endlessly repeating affirmations, go back to the source. Connect with the love inside your heart, and see what messages come up from this well. Start with loving yourself and embracing the traumatized part of you. Affirmations based on fear do not work.

If the affirmation is right, it is not really essential that you repeat it often. Have you ever experienced that someone said something to you that deeply rang true? Was it necessary that this message be repeated all the time? It probably was not. If a sentence that really feels true to you is spoken out loud with the right intensity, you do not have to say it over and over. One time a day is sufficient.

However, the first and most important step in this three-step process is to honestly face the black hole inside us. As soon as you realize that fear is distorting your perception, you can start to embrace that fear with love, and from that love find affirmations which are true and effective. 

© Gerrit Gielen