The Forbidden Male Speaks
Messages from Jeshua on love, relationships, and heart-based masculinity
Ebook $4.99
The forbidden male is the male who does not fit into the traditional box of masculinity with its heavy emphasis on being “tough” and in control. This limiting definition of masculinity has wounded men and disconnected them from their heart and soul. This book describes the inner wound many men suffer from, and offers new ways of thinking about masculine energy in general. The basic assumption underlying the book is the idea that the human being is primarily a soul with both masculine and feminine aspects.
Healing and reshaping our thinking about masculinity affects not only individual men, but women too, as women are also in need of developing and healing their own masculine energy. The forbidden male, who jumps out of the box, brings us back to heart-based masculinity: the energy of freedom, courage and wisdom. As such, recognizing the forbidden male energy liberates both men and women and enables them to enter into mature and truly loving relationships.
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Jeshua answers questions about the “The Forbidden Male Speaks“
Last month (Feb 2025) The Forbidden Male Speaks was published in Spanish by Ediciones Vesica Piscis. At this occasion, publisher Sylvie Duran interviewed Pamela/Jeshua about some issues related to the book. The questions are about 1. How to balance the masculine and feminine within, 2. Transgenderism, and 3. Masculinity in Latin and Hispanic cultures. Below is the transcript of the questions and the channeled answers (below the audio file in English)
1. In the book you explain extensively how the soul decides to take a masculine or a feminine body to incarnate here, which is the origin of the feeling to be separated. This separation allows us to live experiences and create from an individual point of view. Which sounds exciting. But also we have the feeling of being incomplete.
How is the best way to live and express this dance between being whole and being individuated ?
The key is to experience your individuality as a source of joy and expansion, not as something you need to get rid of in order to feel complete. You can feel complete while being individuated. Actually, the urge to give up your individuality, your “you-ness”, through merging with someone else or through spiritual devotion is usually born from pain and a sensation of lack, and therefore leads to suffering. The truth is that there is a divine spark inside you that seeks to uniquely express itself through you and the purpose of your evolution as a soul is to become MORE of you, not less.
Separation as discussed in the book is not a bad thing. For the soul to separate from the Whole is like a child being born from the womb of the mother. It is a natural, powerful, creative feat. Being born as an individual soul, taking on different forms while incarnating, is like leaving the womb of Oneness and embarking on the adventure of Creation. You dive into a long journey of experience, and although this journey is full of ups and downs, there is a point at which you truly start to accept and honor yourself. Then, the dance between being whole and being individuated, as you call it, becomes creative: being yourself and being one with everything else is not something contradictory anymore. In the conscious dancer, all of Creation dances and expresses itself.
2. What’s really going on with the societal phenomenon of transgenderism? These people reject the social stereotypes of their biological sex, and think that changing their physical body will solve their malaise. Studies suggest that gender reassigners have experienced sexual abuse in childhood.
What’s your take on this?
The word “ transgenderism” is a mental box. Nowadays, the perception of what “masculine” and “feminine” means is shifting. The stereotypical definitions of the past are not taken for granted anymore and this offers people the opportunity to discover for themselves what their sexual identity means to them. In general, letting go of the mental boxes of the past allows the soul to express itself more freely. The question of whether to physically change your body or not is very much an individual one. It is too complex to make general statements about it.
It’s best to approach the feeling of being “ trapped in the wrong body” in an open way: as an experience to be explored rather than as an aberration to be cured. From the soul’s perspective, there can be many reasons for not feeling at home in the body you were born in: there may be (past life) memories of abuse related to being a woman or a man, but there are also souls who choose the experience of “transgenderism” because they want to experiment with gender roles, liberate themselves from old restrictions and thereby coming to know who they are on the soul level.
3. In countries with a Hispanic or Latin culture, the stereotype of the dominant, seductive macho exists. Yet there’s also a real attachment to family and children. This seems different from the cold, detached, competitive masculinity of Northern countries. How do you perceive the male role in Latin cultures, and what would be the best way to achieve integration and harmony between the 2 genders?
The Hispanic culture has a kinship with the Middle Eastern culture, so as a human being I was very familiar with the type of masculinity and the stereotypes of the Latin cultures. Stereotypes are of course stereotypes, they do not describe the individual, subjective reality of men, but rather an idealized image that men absorb from childhood on and try to live up to.
I was taught that men had to be strong, dominant and protective. They are responsible for continuing the family name, protecting and securing the lineage, so the attachment to family and children should not be romanticized. Often, a man’s identity in such cultures is defined by his ability to procreate, have one or more sons who carries forth the family name and energy, and so fatherhood is not primarily about heart based connections with the children, but about societal status and male pride.
Of course, most men genuinely care about their children, but true care is not about being dominant and protective. It is about being able to listen to and “see” your children as the individual beings they are. The Latin stereotype does not foster heart based love, it fosters a culture of toughness which actually alienates men from their true feelings, their individual soul’s energy.
In fact, all stereotypical role models do.
If you look at the northern stereotype of the hard working, emotionally detached male, you see that men are forced to live inside their heads, and be tough in a different way: controlling their emotions, losing touch with their heart, becoming emotionally unavailable and not really involved in their children’s lives. The northern stereotype is less based on traditional family and community values, it’s more based on the dominance of a scientific worldview, which originated in the western world. The scientific approach has its value but when you turn it into an all pervasive worldview, considering all other approaches inferior, it becomes a stifling ideology which denies the existence of heart based intelligence and intuition.
Related to the issue of masculinity, it creates a stereotypical definition of success: men, and women too to some extent, are taught that they achieve success by being rational in a calculating, almost mechanical way. Hence the idealization of the “cold, detached, competitive male”. Individual men, with their individual feelings and emotions, struggle with this ideal, in the same way that men born in Latin cultures struggle with the “macho ideal”. The expectations put on them may be different, but in both cases there is a denial of individuality, which is the opposite of what love really means. Love is about accepting what is unique in someone, regardless of their being male, female, or born in a specific culture.
Both stereotypes of masculinity, the Latin, macho, warm blooded one and the Northern cold and detached one, are detrimental to the awakening of heart based awareness in men. For men in Latin cultures, it’s important to ask what their true desires are. In my case, I could not live up to society’s demands: I did not become a father and raise a family, I was a deeply spiritual person, looking for answers beyond the horizon of the collective consciousness I was born into.
I was in touch with my heart, and that came with a price; I was misunderstood, rejected and persecuted.
I am not saying that it is necessarily dangerous to get out of the stereotypical role of masculinity, as the world has changed and is more open now to new ways of defining masculinity, but to men who are sincerely seeking to connect with their soul, I do want to say that they have to listen to their hearts, not to what society expects from them. That means you need to have courage, the courage to be different, to be unique, not a follower but a pioneer. You need to be “tough” but not in the macho sense, you need to be tough on the level of the heart, loving truth more than success, loving yourself more than focusing on being loved for the wrong reasons.
