{"id":301,"date":"2020-03-19T09:24:38","date_gmt":"2020-03-19T09:24:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp\/?p=301"},"modified":"2020-03-19T09:27:00","modified_gmt":"2020-03-19T09:27:00","slug":"pamela-kribbe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/kas-mes-esam\/pamela-kribbe\/","title":{"rendered":"Pamela Kribbe"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Pamela Rose Kribbe (1968) str\u0101d\u0101 k\u0101 psihes las\u012bt\u0101ja, dziedin\u0101t\u0101ja sav\u0101 pa\u0161as praks\u0113 Tilburg\u0101, Holande. Ir ieguvusi doktora gr\u0101du zin\u0101tnes filozofij\u0101 1977. gad\u0101, p\u0113c filozofijas studij\u0101m Leidenes, Nijmegenas un Harvardas (ASV) universit\u0101t\u0113s. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Biogr\u0101fija<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u0160aj\u0101 biogr\u0101fij\u0101 es nedaudz vair\u0101k run\u0101ju par sevi un savu gar\u012bgo att\u012bst\u012bbu. Daudzi ir man jaut\u0101ju\u0161i, k\u0101 es non\u0101cu pie \u010denelingiem un k\u0101 pie manis atn\u0101k saikne ar Je\u0161ua? \u0160\u012b biogr\u0101fija ne tik daudz paskaidro \u010denelinga fenomenu, cik ir person\u012bgs st\u0101sts par to, ko tas noz\u012bm\u0113 man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prel\u016bdija<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Mani sauc Pamela Rose Kribbe. Esmu dzimusi 1968. gada 6. septembr\u012b maz\u0101 ciemat\u0101 N\u012bderland\u0113. B\u0113rn\u012bb\u0101 es \u013coti interes\u0113jos par b\u0113rnu B\u012bbeli un st\u0101stiem par J\u0113zus dz\u012bvi, kas bija diezgan d\u012bvaini, jo mani vec\u0101ki nek\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nebija reli\u0123iozi. Kad man bija 12, nomira mana vec\u0101m\u0101te, kuru es \u013coti m\u012bl\u0113ju. Vi\u0146a man bija k\u0101 vec\u0101ks, jo dz\u012bvoja kop\u0101 ar mums k\u0101 m\u016bsu \u0123imenes da\u013ca. P\u0113c vi\u0146as n\u0101ves m\u0113s \u2013 mana m\u0101te, es, tantes, m\u0101s\u012bcas \u2013 s\u0101k\u0101m \u013coti interes\u0113ties par literat\u016bru par dz\u012bvi p\u0113c n\u0101ves, psihiskiem fenomeniem un taml\u012bdz\u012bgi. Tas turpin\u0101j\u0101s l\u012bdz man\u0101m m\u0101c\u012bb\u0101m universit\u0101t\u0113. 19 gados es s\u0101ku m\u0101c\u012bties filozofiju Leidenes universit\u0101t\u0113. P\u0113c gada es p\u0101rv\u0113rtos skepti\u0137\u012b, uzskatot visu \u0161o reli\u0123iozo materi\u0101lu par \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi m\u0101\u0146tic\u012bgu un iracion\u0101lu. Es iem\u012bl\u0113jos racion\u0101listiskaj\u0101 pieej\u0101 filozofijai un \u013coti daudz str\u0101d\u0101ju un m\u0101c\u012bjos. Es pabeidzu universit\u0101ti ar izcil\u012bbu un sa\u0146\u0113mu uzaicin\u0101jumus str\u0101d\u0101t par aspirantu no da\u017e\u0101d\u0101m N\u012bderlandes universit\u0101t\u0113m. Manu p\u0113t\u012bjumu lauks bija m\u016bsdienu zin\u0101tnes filozofija. 23 gadu vecum\u0101 es st\u0101jos attiec\u012bb\u0101s ar cilv\u0113ku, vec\u0101ku par mani, kur\u0161 ar\u012b veiksm\u012bgi tais\u012bja zin\u0101tnisko karjeru. M\u0113s dz\u012bvoj\u0101m ar vi\u0146u br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bg\u0101 m\u0101j\u0101, un es biju laim\u012bga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mana satik\u0161an\u0101s ar jauno cilv\u0113ku, kuru es iem\u012bl\u0113ju, tie\u0161\u0101m nebija nejau\u0161a. Vi\u0146\u0161 ar\u012b bija filozofs un aspirants un, at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bb\u0101 no mana partnera, tic\u0113ja \u201cgar\u012bg\u0101m liet\u0101m\u201d un bija vienlaic\u012bgi gan jut\u012bgs, gan intelektu\u0101ls, gan iracion\u0101ls. Tas man\u012b dzi\u013ci kaut ko sa\u0161\u016bpoja. Man bija palikusi mana vec\u0101 interese par gar\u012bgo, ta\u010du tas bija \u201caizliegts\u201d man\u0101 akad\u0113miskaj\u0101 vid\u0113, un tagad bija par\u0101d\u012bjies k\u0101ds, kuru es var\u0113tu saukt par radniec\u012bgu dv\u0113seli, kura atg\u0101dina man par tik ilgi apsl\u0113pto manis pa\u0161as da\u013cu. M\u0113s bezgal\u012bgi run\u0101j\u0101m par filozofiju un gar\u012bgumu. M\u0113s iem\u012bl\u0113j\u0101m viens otru. Es pametu savu partneri, pils\u0113tu un m\u0101ju, kur\u0101 dz\u012bvoju, ta\u010du m\u0113s nebij\u0101m laim\u012bgi. M\u016bsu attiec\u012bbas nebija ilgsto\u0161as un beidz\u0101s ar to, ko es izjutu k\u0101 lielu emocion\u0101lu traumu. M\u016bsu sakara smag\u0101 sarau\u0161ana piln\u012bgi sagr\u0101va abas m\u016bsu dz\u012bves, jo raksturu at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bbu d\u0113\u013c m\u0113s nesp\u0113j\u0101m uzcelt kop\u0113ju dz\u012bvi un \u0161\u0137\u012br\u0101mies, kad bija pag\u0101jis maz\u0101k par 6 m\u0113ne\u0161iem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kr\u012bze<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Es no\u012br\u0113ju mazu istabu, atkal vadot savu dz\u012bvi k\u0101 nabadz\u012bga studente. Man ner\u016bp\u0113ja  materi\u0101l\u0101s labkl\u0101j\u012bbas zaud\u0113jums. Es iegrimu b\u0113d\u0101s un skumj\u0101s par to, ka mans iem\u012b\u013cotais \u2013 radniec\u012bga dv\u0113sele \u2013 ir atst\u0101jis mani. Es jutu, ka priek\u0161 manis viss ir zaud\u0113jis noz\u012bmi, un ner\u016bp\u0113jos par manas disert\u0101cijas pabeig\u0161anu. \u0160aj\u0101 laik\u0101, var\u0113tu \u0161\u0137ist, bez jebk\u0101da iemesla, man pied\u0101v\u0101ja stipendiju, kura at\u013c\u0101va man pavad\u012bt semestri Harvardas universit\u0101t\u0113 ASV. Es var\u0113ju vienk\u0101r\u0161i apmekl\u0113t lekcijas, kuras man pat\u012bk, un no manis netika pras\u012bts nekas noteikts. Es piekritu, un tas k\u013cuva man par \u0101rk\u0101rt\u012bgi dzi\u013cu pieredzi. Pirmoreiz dz\u012bv\u0113 es jutos piln\u012bgi vientu\u013ca, un man nebija nek\u0101da cita risin\u0101juma, k\u0101 paciet\u012bgi to izciest. Intelektu\u0101li es biju tuk\u0161a. Mana interese par akad\u0113misko filozofiju bija piln\u012bgi nov\u012btusi, un man bija j\u0101pieliek patie\u0161\u0101m lielas p\u016bles, lai neaizmigtu kursos, kurus es klaus\u012bjos vien\u0101 no pa\u0161\u0101m slaven\u0101kaj\u0101m pasaules universit\u0101t\u0113m. Mans pr\u0101ts vairs nepie\u0146\u0113ma neko \u201cintelektu\u0101lu\u201d. Es \u013coti noguru un p\u0113c lekcij\u0101m vienk\u0101r\u0161i gul\u0113ju vai pavad\u012bju laiku ar savu jauko istabas biedreni, kura ar\u012b bija vientu\u013ca, tikko izejot no nelaim\u012bgas laul\u012bbas. Gr\u0101matu veikal\u0101 universit\u0101tes tuvum\u0101 es atradu Seta gr\u0101matu, nodotu caur D\u017eeinu Robertsu. Es nekad agr\u0101k nebiju las\u012bjusi \u010denelingus un s\u0101kum\u0101 neko taj\u0101 nesapratu. Ta\u010du es jutu \u0161\u012b materi\u0101la pievilk\u0161anas sp\u0113ku atkal un atkal, un p\u0113c k\u0101da laika tas spo\u017ei apgaismoja manu dz\u012bvi. Tas nebija vienk\u0101r\u0161i saturs, kur\u0161 mani satricin\u0101ja ar ori\u0123inalit\u0101ti un dzi\u013cumu, bet ener\u0123ija, kura sk\u0101ra un pac\u0113la mani. Tas bija pirmais, kas atkal atgrieza mani dz\u012bv\u0113.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Atkal strupce\u013c\u0101<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c atgrie\u0161an\u0101s no Amerikas es nol\u0113mu pabeigt savu disert\u0101ciju, kaut ar\u012b zin\u0101ju, ka neturpin\u0101\u0161u akad\u0113misko karjeru. 1997. gad\u0101, 29 gadu vecum\u0101, es ieguvu filozofijas doktora gr\u0101du, atradu sev labu dz\u012bvokli un baud\u012bju neatkar\u012bbu. Es biju izaugusi, es biju p\u0101rvar\u0113jusi slikt\u0101ko kr\u012bzi man\u0101 dz\u012bv\u0113 un zin\u0101m\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101 atjaunojusies. Man bija j\u0101iegaum\u0113 viena no pa\u0161\u0101m gr\u016bt\u0101kaj\u0101m priek\u0161 manis m\u0101c\u012bb\u0101m: tas, kur\u0161 piln\u012bb\u0101 pie\u0146em savu individualit\u0101ti, nevar piln\u012bgi pazaud\u0113t sevi savstarp\u0113j\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s. Es vienm\u0113r p\u0101rdz\u012bvoju iem\u012bl\u0113\u0161an\u0101s st\u0101vokli k\u0101 kaut ko gandr\u012bz reli\u0123iozu, it k\u0101 es gaid\u012btu, ka k\u0101ds vai kaut kas \u201cpacels\u201d mani no vientul\u012bbas nepiln\u0101 st\u0101vok\u013ca, at\u013caujot man sajust ekst\u0101zisku vienot\u012bbu un pilnu atz\u012b\u0161anu. \u0160\u012b \u201ctranscedentalit\u0101tes\u201d un \u201cvienot\u012bbas\u201d v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s, kura iziet \u0101rpus \u201cmanis\u201d robe\u017e\u0101m, galu gal\u0101 noveda mani pie piln\u012bgas vientul\u012bbas un izmisuma. Tagad es vese\u013cojos no t\u0101 ar jaunu pamo\u0161an\u0101s saj\u016btu, ta\u010du v\u0113l arvien jutos pietiekami vientu\u013ca. \u0160aj\u0101 laik\u0101 es satiku biju\u0161o kursa biedru, un vi\u0146\u0161 bija vien\u012bgais, ar kuru es var\u0113ju, \u0161aj\u0101 manas dz\u012bves punkt\u0101, parun\u0101t, pa \u012bstam parun\u0101t par man svar\u012bg\u0101m liet\u0101m. M\u0113s dz\u012bvoj\u0101m kop\u0101 gandr\u012bz \u010detrus gadus. Ta\u010du tas vair\u0101k l\u012bdzin\u0101j\u0101s br\u0101\u013ca un m\u0101sas attiec\u012bb\u0101m. Es teicu sev, ka t\u0101 ir vislab\u0101k, jo p\u0101r\u0101k liela kaisle mani bija sagr\u0101busi agr\u0101k un es v\u0113l arvien jutos v\u012blusies iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vienlaic\u012bgi, tagad, kad es biju atvad\u012bjusies no akad\u0113misk\u0101s dz\u012bves, es s\u0101ku gatavoties darba mekl\u0113jumiem. Tas izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s ne tik vienk\u0101r\u0161i, k\u0101 es dom\u0101ju. Mans draugs un es pl\u0101noj\u0101m pasniegt filozofijas kursus un sniegt konsult\u0101cijas, k\u0101 ar\u012b atrast darbu uz nepilnu slodzi \u201ctikai naudas d\u0113\u013c\u201d. Es s\u0101ku str\u0101d\u0101t par sekret\u0101ri da\u017e\u0101d\u0101s viet\u0101s, bet mani satrieca \u201cofisa dz\u012bves\u201d specifika, c\u012b\u0146a par varu, tenkas un pazemojo\u0161s st\u0101voklis nesp\u0113t izpaust savas \u012bst\u0101s sp\u0113jas (k\u0101 sekret\u0101rei). Tas mani \u013coti nom\u0101ca, jo es desmit gadus biju pavad\u012bjusi universit\u0101t\u0113, liel\u0101ko da\u013cu laika str\u0101d\u0101jot m\u0101j\u0101s un b\u016bdama pietieko\u0161i br\u012bva organiz\u0113t darbu p\u0113c saviem ieskatiem. P\u0113c da\u017eiem gadiem es izvirz\u012bjos uz presti\u017e\u0101ku darbu, ta\u010du galu gal\u0101 tas rad\u012bja man stresa situ\u0101ciju. Un te iest\u0101j\u0101s l\u016bzuma br\u012bdis. Man bija auras las\u012b\u0161ana ar sievieti, kura p\u0113c tam k\u013cuva par manu skolot\u0101ju. T\u0101 \u013coti stipri pavirz\u012bja un pamodin\u0101ja mani. T\u0101 piespieda mani saprast, ka gan darb\u0101, gan savstarp\u0113j\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s es biju nelaim\u012bga un nesabalans\u0113ta. Es atzinos sev, ka atrodos strupce\u013c\u0101. Rado\u0161\u0101s ener\u0123ijas vi\u013c\u0146i v\u0113l\u0101s p\u0101r mani, man bija sap\u0146i un n\u0101kotnes redz\u0113jumi, bet es vienk\u0101r\u0161i tur\u0113jos pie attiec\u012bb\u0101m un darba vides, kuri ne\u013c\u0101va man pa \u012bstam izteikt sevi. Es baid\u012bjos atkal k\u013c\u016bt patst\u0101v\u012bga. P\u0113c da\u017eiem m\u0113ne\u0161iem p\u0113c tik\u0161an\u0101s ar \u0161o gar\u012bgo terapeitu es s\u0101ku ar vi\u0146u intuit\u012bv\u0101s att\u012bst\u012bbas un auras las\u012b\u0161anas kursu un pametu savu saspringto un mani neapmierino\u0161o darbu. Es atradu citu, viegl\u0101ku, darbu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pa\u0161izzin\u0101\u0161ana<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

2000. gada ruden\u012b es sajutu v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos izzin\u0101t manas iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s dz\u012bves ar regres\u012bv\u0101s terapijas pal\u012bdz\u012bbu. Tas sol\u012bj\u0101s b\u016bt br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bgs piedz\u012bvojums. Es jau biju s\u0101kusi spont\u0101ni redz\u0113t pag\u0101ju\u0161\u0101s dz\u012bves ainas, kas izsauca man\u012b stipras emocijas un deva man saj\u016btu, ka es \u2013 esmu kaut kas vair\u0101k k\u0101 mana tagad\u0113j\u0101 person\u012bba. Ar iepriek\u0161\u0113jo dz\u012bvju regres\u012bvo terapiju es izzin\u0101ju daudzas savas iemieso\u0161an\u0101s, un tas daudz izskaidroja man par to ce\u013cu, kuru es vienm\u0113r izv\u0113los. Viens no atkl\u0101jumiem, kur\u0161 visvair\u0101k mani ietekm\u0113ja, bija tas, ka pa\u0161\u0101 p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 sav\u0101 dz\u012bv\u0113 es miru k\u0101 Holokausta upuris Au\u0161vices-Birkenavas koncentr\u0101cijas nometn\u0113. \u0160\u012bs pieredzes v\u0113lreiz\u0113ja p\u0101rdz\u012bvo\u0161ana padar\u012bja man saprotamas neizskaidrojam\u0101s skumjas, kuras es vienm\u0113r j\u016btu dzi\u013ci iek\u0161ien\u0113, un preto\u0161anos dz\u012bvei, kuru es vienm\u0113r jutu. Citas iemieso\u0161an\u0101s, no \u013coti gar\u012bg\u0101m l\u012bdz piln\u012bgi tuk\u0161\u0101m un t\u0101d\u0101m, kur es nepareizi izmantoju savu sp\u0113ku, atkl\u0101ja t\u0101du jaunu apzin\u0101\u0161an\u0101s horizontu, ka es sajutu stipru v\u0113l\u0113\u0161anos padal\u012bties ar savu pieredzi ar k\u0101du, kur\u0161 var\u0113tu mani saprast. Mans draugs \u0161aj\u0101 laik\u0101 s\u0101ka dom\u0101t, ka es nedaudz esmu sajukusi pr\u0101t\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Satik\u0161an\u0101s ar Gerritu<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Es tad tikko biju iepazinusies ar Internetu un, p\u0113tot to, uzd\u016bros Gerrita lapai, kura bija velt\u012bta reinkarn\u0101cijai, laikam un gar\u012bgumam. Es nekav\u0113joties biju satriekta no vi\u0146a izstarot\u0101s ener\u0123ijas un m\u016bsu intere\u0161u sakrit\u012bbas. Man bija \u013coti d\u012bvaina saj\u016bta, ka, vai nu vi\u0146\u0161 ir man \u013coti tuvs cilv\u0113ks, vai ar\u012b es patie\u0161\u0101m esmu mazliet jukusi un izdom\u0101ju to, k\u0101 nav. Es nol\u0113mu jebkur\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 vi\u0146am uzrakst\u012bt, un mums ies\u0101k\u0101s laba sarakste. P\u0113c tr\u012bs m\u0113ne\u0161iem m\u0113s satik\u0101mies person\u012bgi. Taj\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b es jau biju \u0161\u0137\u012brusies no sava partnera. Kad es satikos ar Gerritu, man rad\u0101s saj\u016bta, ka es vi\u0146u \u013coti labi pazinu un ne tikai \u0161aj\u0101 20. gadsimta iemieso\u0161an\u0101s. Tas bija neizskaidrojami un nosl\u0113pumaini. M\u016bs nekav\u0113joties s\u0101ka vilkt vienam pie otra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es p\u0101rbraucu pie vi\u0146a p\u0113c da\u017eiem m\u0113ne\u0161iem, gandr\u012bz t\u016bl\u012bt k\u013cuvu gr\u016bta, un nepag\u0101ja pat gads, kad m\u0113s jau bij\u0101m prec\u0113ti. 2002. gad\u0101 mums piedzima meita Laura. Periodu, kur\u0101 es izzin\u0101ju iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s dz\u012bves, iepazinos ar Gerritu un p\u0101rbraucu uz citu N\u012bderlandes da\u013cu (kur dz\u012bvoja Gerrrits), es uztveru k\u0101 dzi\u013cas p\u0101rie\u0161anas, pat n\u0101ves, periodu. Es jutos it k\u0101 izn\u0101kusi no manas iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s person\u012bbas, pie kam mans jaunais \u201cEs\u201d bija \u201cman\u0113j\u0101ks\u201d, k\u0101ds man jebkad bija iepriek\u0161. Es sajutu, ka nost\u0101jos uz piln\u012bgi jauna eksistences ce\u013ca, kur\u0101 liet\u0101m, beidzot, ir j\u0113ga, t\u0101s veido vienotu att\u0113lu un sagatavo ce\u013cu senu sap\u0146u piepild\u012b\u0161anai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prakses s\u0101kums<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c meitas piedzim\u0161anas es s\u0101ku manu gar\u012bgo praksi auras las\u012b\u0161an\u0101 un dziedniec\u012bb\u0101, un 2002. gada vid\u016b man par\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s klienti. Viss g\u0101ja gludi un dabiski un nepras\u012bja p\u0101r\u0101k daudz p\u016b\u013cu. Es beidzot biju atradusi darbu, kur\u0101 var\u0113ju sevi piln\u012bb\u0101 izteikt. Es biju spiesta satikties ar daudz\u0101m bail\u0113m, kuras negaid\u012bju sastapt. Tagad, kad es nodarbojos ar to, ko m\u012blu, es konstat\u0113ju, ka baidos pa \u012bstam izteikt sevi, k\u013c\u016bt cit\u0101dai, stiprai, neatkar\u012bgai un t\u0101 t\u0101l\u0101k. Es jutos ievainojama, jo s\u0101kotn\u0113ji, kad es patie\u0161\u0101m nek\u0101di neierobe\u017eota izpaudu sevi, risks b\u016bt atraid\u012btai vai pak\u013cautai kritikai mani bied\u0113ja. Es var\u0113ju sniegt tikai da\u017eas konsult\u0101cijas ned\u0113\u013c\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Satik\u0161an\u0101s ar Je\u0161ua<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pa to laiku m\u0113s ar Gerritu bie\u017ei veic\u0101m sesijas pa\u0161iem sev, izzinot m\u016bsu iek\u0161\u0113jo pasauli, \u0161\u012bs un iepriek\u0161\u0113jo dz\u012bvju emocion\u0101l\u0101s r\u0113tas, k\u0101 ar\u012b citas t\u0113mas, t\u0101das k\u0101 astrolo\u0123ija, izmai\u0146as pasaul\u0113 un taml\u012bdz\u012bgi. Vienreiz nakt\u012b es sajutu blakus sev k\u0101das ener\u0123ijas kl\u0101tb\u016btni, at\u0161\u0137ir\u012bgu no pierast\u0101s. Es jutu nopietn\u012bbu un sv\u0113tumu, kas lika man nedaudz nervoz\u0113t. Parasti es st\u0101jos kontaktos ar maniem vai citu cilv\u0113ku gar\u012bgajiem gidiem. Ta\u010du tas bija kaut kas cits. Ar Gerrita pal\u012bdz\u012bbu es nol\u0113mu noskaidrot, kas tas bija, un, kad es ieg\u0101ju transa st\u0101vokl\u012b un piesl\u0113dzos \u0161ai ener\u0123ijai, es ieraudz\u012bju sava iek\u0161\u0113j\u0101 skata priek\u0161\u0101 v\u0101rdu \u201cJe\u0161ua Ben Josef\u201d un uzreiz sapratu, ka t\u0101 ir paties\u012bba. Sekundes laik\u0101, pirms pamod\u0101s mans intelekts un s\u0101ka \u0161aub\u012bties un uzdot jaut\u0101jumus, es iepazinu Je\u0161ua k\u0101 dzi\u013ci person\u012bgu kl\u0101tb\u016btni, kuru sajust tuvu bija piln\u012bgi dabiski. T\u0101 bija iek\u0161\u0113ja sapratne, un es pie\u0146\u0113mu \u0161o saikni. Tas, ka vi\u0146\u0161 st\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s priek\u0161\u0101 k\u0101 \u201cJe\u0161ua Ben Josef\u201d, nevis k\u0101 J\u0113zus, par\u0101d\u012bja man, ka vi\u0146\u0161 no pa\u0161a s\u0101kuma grib\u0113ja, lai b\u016btu skaidrs, ka vi\u0146\u0161 nav person\u012bba, kuru rad\u012bjusi B\u012bbele un trad\u012bcija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u0101ko\u0161aj\u0101s ned\u0113\u013c\u0101s un m\u0113ne\u0161os es s\u0101ku izzin\u0101t saikni ar Je\u0161ua. Es par to neteicu nevienam. Tikai Gerrits zin\u0101ja par to. Vi\u0146a ener\u0123ija bija saj\u016btama k\u0101 patiesa un pareiza, kaut ar\u012b tas man bija nepierasti, kad vi\u0146a ener\u0123ija ien\u0101ca man\u0101 \u0137ermen\u012b un aur\u0101. Vi\u0146a ener\u0123ija bija \u013coti \u201ccentr\u0113ta\u201d un sazem\u0113ta, un tas man deva skaidru fokusu, bez sentimentalit\u0101tes un dr\u0101mas. T\u0101 bija pietiekami tie\u0161a un sp\u0113c\u012bga. Tas, kas mani taj\u0101 bied\u0113ja \u2013 tas bija sp\u0113ks, ko t\u0101 sev\u012b ietv\u0113ra. T\u0101 pied\u0101v\u0101ja man apzi\u0146as l\u012bmeni, kur\u0101 visas lietas bija redzamas \u013coti skaidri, ta\u010du, ar\u012b no t\u0101da redzes viedok\u013ca, kur\u0161 var\u0113ja satricin\u0101t vai uztraukt citus cilv\u0113kus. Censties b\u016bt \u201cpat\u012bkamai\u201d, vair\u012bties no konfront\u0101cijas vienm\u0113r bija bijis man rakstur\u012bgi, un es dom\u0101ju, ka esmu k\u013cuvusi jau pietieko\u0161i patst\u0101v\u012bga un p\u0101rliecin\u0101ta. Ta\u010du Je\u0161ua ener\u0123ija par\u0101d\u012bja man, ka tas v\u0113l ne glu\u017ei ir t\u0101. \u012apa\u0161i, str\u0101d\u0101jot k\u0101 dziedniekam, un, lasot auru, man bija j\u0101uztur l\u012bdzsvars starp manu jut\u012bgo, l\u012bdzj\u016bt\u012bgo pusi un manu v\u012bri\u0161\u0137o ener\u0123iju-v\u0113lmi b\u016bt priek\u0161\u0101, aizsarg\u0101t savas robe\u017eas un pal\u012bdz\u0113t sev palikt sabalans\u0113tai smagu emocion\u0101lu ener\u0123iju vid\u016b. Je\u0161ua pied\u0101v\u0101ja man atbalstu man\u0101 terapeita darb\u0101, ne tikai dodot man inform\u0101ciju v\u0101rdu un fr\u0101\u017eu veid\u0101, bet, faktiski, nododot man savu ener\u0123iju, liekot man saprast, ko noz\u012bm\u0113 redz\u0113t lietas vi\u0146a ac\u012bm, vai, lab\u0101k sakot, Kristus ener\u0123ijas ac\u012bm (kura ir m\u016bsos visos). P\u0101rvadot \u0161o ener\u0123iju, burtiski pie\u0146emot to sav\u0101 \u0137ermen\u012b un aur\u0101, es var\u0113ju vair\u0101k saprast un augt k\u0101 person\u012bba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u0113c k\u0101da laika Je\u0161ua s\u0101ka dot Gerritam un man p\u0113c savas dabas univers\u0101l\u0101ku inform\u0101ciju. Gerrita vesta, es ieg\u0101ju transa st\u0101vokl\u012b, un Je\u0161ua deva man s\u016bt\u012bjumus v\u0101rdu vai saj\u016btu form\u0101, kurus es tulkoju v\u0101rdos. Iesp\u0113jams, pats lab\u0101kais veids to izskaidrot b\u016bs, ka vi\u0146\u0161 it k\u0101 p\u0101rc\u0113l\u0101s man\u012b (kas man deva saj\u016btu: \u201cO, tagad es redzu\u201d), bet mans uzdevums bija p\u0101rtulkot to atbilsto\u0161os v\u0101rdos, fr\u0101z\u0113s un teikumos. Da\u017ereiz v\u0101rdi viegli pl\u016bda no manis, k\u0101 manis pa\u0161as. Citreiz man bija j\u0101mekl\u0113 formul\u0113jumi, cien\u012bgi ener\u0123ijai, kuru es jutu, un tas vair\u0101k l\u012bdzin\u0101j\u0101s c\u012b\u0146ai. Ener\u0123iju, kura n\u0101ca \u010denelinga gait\u0101, ar\u012b da\u017ereiz bija gr\u016bti izteikt v\u0101rdos, t\u0101 k\u0101 t\u0101 bija izdziedin\u0101\u0161anas, m\u012blest\u012bbas un skaidr\u012bbas ener\u0123ija. Pirm\u0101 atn\u0101ku\u0161\u0101 s\u016bt\u012bjumu s\u0113rija bija Gaismas Darbinieku s\u0113rija (public\u0113ta lap\u0101). T\u0101 ietv\u0113ra s\u016bt\u012bjumus par Gaismas Darbinieku v\u0113sturi, jaun\u0101s \u0113ras iest\u0101\u0161anos un p\u0101reju no apzi\u0146as, balst\u012btas uz ego, uz apzi\u0146u, balst\u012btu uz sirdi. Je\u0161ua teica mums, ka \u0161\u012b s\u0113rija ir paredz\u0113ta \u012bpa\u0161i Gaismas Darbiniekiem. Vi\u0146\u0161 teica, ka ir \u013coti svar\u012bgi, lai vi\u0146i pamostos un apzin\u0101tos, kas vi\u0146i t\u0101di ir. Jo, kad vi\u0146i pamod\u012bsies, vi\u0146i pal\u012bdz\u0113s p\u0101r\u0113jai cilv\u0113ces da\u013cai p\u0101riet uz apzi\u0146u, balst\u012btu uz sirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sabiedrisk\u0101s dz\u012bves s\u0101kums<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Es v\u0113l joproj\u0101m nevienam neteicu par manus saikni ar Je\u0161ua, baidoties no izsmiekla un netic\u012bbas. Pateikt k\u0101dam ska\u013ci \u201cEs esmu Je\u0161ua jeb J\u0113zus \u010denelers\u201d lik\u0101s man piln\u012bgi neiesp\u0113jami. Skeptiskais filozofs, aizkav\u0113jies mana pr\u0101ta pa\u017eobel\u0113, skaidroja man, ka es pati gatavojos pazi\u0146ot par sevi k\u0101 juku\u0161u, pretenciozu un taml\u012bdz\u012bgi. Tom\u0113r, neskatoties uz to, es uztic\u0113jos da\u017eiem tuviem draugiem, un m\u0113s veic\u0101m da\u017eas \u012bsas sesijas, kuras izr\u0101d\u012bj\u0101s veiksm\u012bgas. T\u0101pat m\u0113s nopublic\u0113j\u0101m \u010denelingu pirm\u0101s s\u0113rijas man\u0101 interneta lap\u0101 (holandiski), P\u0113c tam, ilg\u0101k k\u0101 p\u0113c gada p\u0113c manas \u201csatik\u0161an\u0101s\u201d ar Je\u0161ua, es sa\u0146\u0113mu iel\u016bgumu no be\u013c\u0123u gar\u012bg\u0101 centra atbraukt un veikt publisku \u010denelingu. Pat vienk\u0101r\u0161i doma par to \u0161ok\u0113ja mani, ta\u010du es zin\u0101ju, ka nevaru atteikties, ka man j\u0101iziet cauri \u0161\u012bm bail\u0113m. Un, ka Je\u0161ua man neliks mald\u012bties. Es nervoz\u0113ju vair\u0101kas ned\u0113\u013cas, negul\u0113ju vair\u0101kas dienas pirms t\u0101, ta\u010du pirmais publiskais \u010denelings notika un \u013coti pozit\u012bvi mani ietekm\u0113ja. Tas bija \u012bss \u010denelings un jaut\u0101jumu sesija (pirmais no \u201cIzdziedin\u0101\u0161anas\u201d s\u0113rijas), ta\u010du es \u013coti skaidri jutu Je\u0161ua kl\u0101tb\u016btni, l\u012bsto\u0161u caur mani. Cilv\u0113ki bija \u013coti sirsn\u012bgi un iedvesmoti, un \u201cpubliska izg\u0101\u0161an\u0101s\u201d nenotika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es jutos tik pacil\u0101ta p\u0113c \u0161\u012b pirm\u0101 publisk\u0101 \u010denelinga, ka nekav\u0113joties nol\u0113mu organiz\u0113t tik\u0161an\u0101s pie mums m\u0101j\u0101s, ko m\u0113s ar\u012b izdar\u012bj\u0101m. Ta\u010du bailes man nebija p\u0101rg\u0101ju\u0161as. Katru reizi, kad man bija j\u0101vada \u010denelings auditorijas priek\u0161\u0101, es jutu pretest\u012bbu, bailes un pat dusmas! B\u016bdama kautr\u012bga un nosl\u0113gta, es nekad nejutos p\u0101rliecin\u0101ta, uzst\u0101joties publikas priek\u0161\u0101. K\u0101p\u0113c man j\u0101b\u016bt t\u0101d\u0101 ievainojam\u0101 viet\u0101, neesot p\u0101rliecin\u0101tai, ka es run\u0101ju kaut ko sakar\u012bgu, vai, ka Je\u0161ua b\u016bs tur pirmaj\u0101 viet\u0101? Protams, vi\u0146\u0161 vienm\u0113r ir \u201c\u0161eit\u201d priek\u0161 manis. Mana past\u0101v\u012bg\u0101 nep\u0101rliecin\u0101t\u012bba, bailes un dusmas vienk\u0101r\u0161i bija mans ego, kur\u0161 l\u012bdz p\u0113d\u0113jam c\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s, lai izbeigtu \u201c\u0161o piln\u012bgi bezatbild\u012bgo pas\u0101kumu\u201d. Je\u0161ua esam\u012bba, kur\u0161 run\u0101 caur mani, bija piln\u012bg\u0101 pretrun\u0101 ar visiem maniem \u201caizsardz\u012bbas meh\u0101nismiem\u201d. Tas par\u0101d\u012bja uz \u0101ru visus manus ieradumus b\u016bt uzman\u012bgai, ietur\u0113tai un \u201cneizb\u0101zties\u201d. Ilgu laiku es biju nedaudz mizantrops un ne tik viegli uztic\u0113jos cilv\u0113kiem. Tagad \u0161eit bija ener\u0123ija, kura teica cilv\u0113kiem caur mani, ka m\u012bl vi\u0146us un r\u016bp\u0113jas par vi\u0146iem, mudina vi\u0146us pie\u0146emt vi\u0146u pa\u0161u iek\u0161\u0113jo zin\u0101\u0161anu un sp\u0113ku. Pat jautri barot vi\u0146us par st\u016brgalv\u012bbu un preto\u0161anos. T\u0101 nevar\u0113ju b\u016bt es!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mani satrieca reakcija, kuru m\u0113s sa\u0146\u0113m\u0101m. S\u0101kum\u0101 m\u0113s ievietoj\u0101m visus \u010denelingus m\u016bsu holandie\u0161u interneta lap\u0101, kura s\u0101ka piesaist\u012bt arvien pieaugo\u0161\u0101ku auditoriju. M\u0113s sa\u0146\u0113m\u0101m simtiem elektronisko v\u0113stu\u013cu pa gadu no cilv\u0113kiem, kuri rakst\u012bja mums, ka vi\u0146us \u013coti aizkustina \u0161ie s\u016bt\u012bjumi un ka vi\u0146i j\u016btas gandr\u012bz t\u0101, it k\u0101 Je\u0161ua run\u0101tu tie\u0161i ar vi\u0146iem. P\u0113c k\u0101da laika es p\u0101rtulkoju \u010denelingus angliski, un m\u0113s izveidoj\u0101m ar\u012b anglisko lapu. S\u0101kuma t\u0101 nepiesaist\u012bja lielu apmekl\u0113t\u0101ju skaitu, ta\u010du Je\u0161ua teica mums vienk\u0101r\u0161i atlaist to un gaid\u012bt. Patie\u0161\u0101m, nedaudz ilg\u0101k k\u0101 p\u0113c gada m\u0113s s\u0101k\u0101m sa\u0146emt v\u0113stules ar\u012b no angliski run\u0101jo\u0161ajiem las\u012bt\u0101jiem un s\u0101k\u0101m pied\u0101v\u0101t att\u0101lin\u0101tus las\u012bjumus cilv\u0113kiem aiz robe\u017e\u0101m. Lietas s\u0101ka str\u0101d\u0101t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Papla\u0161in\u0101\u0161an\u0101s<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Da\u017ei cilv\u0113ki sazin\u0101j\u0101s ar mums pa elektronisko pastu un br\u012bvpr\u0101t\u012bgi pied\u0101v\u0101ja tulkot Je\u0161ua s\u016bt\u012bjumus. Vi\u0146i uzrad\u0101s mums \u201cne no kurienes\u201d, sp\u0113j\u012bgi tulkot un t\u012bri gar\u0101, kuri jut\u0101s k\u0101 viena \u0123imene un kuri vienk\u0101r\u0161i pied\u0101v\u0101ja savus pakalpojumus, jo Je\u0161ua s\u016bt\u012bjumi bija iedvesmoju\u0161i vi\u0146us. Tas ir br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bgi. Tagad Internet\u0101 ir pieejami tulkojumi fran\u010du, sp\u0101\u0146u, ivrita, portug\u0101\u013cu un somu valod\u0101s. Mums pal\u012bdz cilv\u0113ki no visas pasaules, kuriem ir kop\u0113jas intereses un v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s, kuri, \u0161\u0137iet, k\u0101pj p\u0101ri kult\u016bru robe\u017e\u0101m. Je\u0161ua teica man, ka man vienk\u0101r\u0161i j\u0101pieraksta materi\u0101ls un j\u0101atlai\u017e tas. Tas atrad\u012bs pats savu ce\u013cu, un t\u0101 patie\u0161\u0101m ar\u012b bija.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Internets bija galvenais starpnieks taj\u0101. Viena no \u201csinhroniz\u0101cij\u0101m\u201d \u0161aj\u0101 st\u0101st\u0101 bija t\u0101, ka Gerrits str\u0101d\u0101ja k\u0101 konsultants inform\u0101cijas tehnolo\u0123ij\u0101s un var\u0113ja pats izstr\u0101d\u0101t un b\u016bv\u0113t lapas. Es ar\u012b jutu, ka mana filozofisk\u0101 sagatavot\u012bba \u013coti pal\u012bdz man tulkot Je\u0161ua ener\u0123iju v\u0101rdos un koncepcij\u0101s. Bez tam, es vienm\u0113r esmu m\u012bl\u0113jusi rakst\u012bt un jau tren\u0113jos rakst\u012bt angliski, kad m\u0101c\u012bjos filozofiju. Es jutu, ka radot \u010denelingus un vadot las\u012bjumus klientiem, es beidzot daru \u201csavas lietas\u201d, to, priek\u0161 k\u0101 es esmu dzimusi. Sa\u0146emot tik daudz siltu atsauksmju no cilv\u0113kiem no visas pasaules, es guvu dzi\u013ca apmierin\u0101juma saj\u016btu, un es biju pateic\u012bga par to, ka varu nopeln\u012bt sev dz\u012bvei, darot to, ko visvair\u0101k m\u012blu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010cenelings \u2013 aizkl\u0101ja pav\u0113r\u0161ana<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nobeigum\u0101 es grib\u0113tu izteikt da\u017eas visp\u0101r\u012bgas piez\u012bmes \u010denelinga fenomena sakar\u0101. Iesp\u0113jams, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c, ka es esmu no N\u012bderlandes (n\u012bderlandie\u0161i tiek uzskat\u012bti par \u013coti praktiskiem, piezem\u0113tiem cilv\u0113kiem) un turpinot palikt skeptiski noska\u0146otai attiec\u012bb\u0101 pret kust\u012bbas NewAge zin\u0101mu da\u013cu, es grib\u0113tu atz\u012bm\u0113t t\u0101l\u0101kam da\u017eas lietas, kuras attiecas uz \u010denelingu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Attiec\u012bbas starp \u010deneleru un vi\u0146a p\u0101rvad\u012bto ener\u0123iju.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es dom\u0101ju, ka \u010denelings \u2013 t\u0101 ir sadarb\u012bba starp cilv\u0113ku un nefizisku b\u016bt\u012bbu, kura uzst\u0101jas k\u0101 skolot\u0101js. Skolot\u0101js pied\u0101v\u0101 cilv\u0113kam iedvesmu un pla\u0161\u0101ku perspekt\u012bvu, bet cilv\u0113ks p\u0101rtulko gar\u012bg\u0101s b\u016bt\u012bbas ener\u0123iju v\u0101rdos un j\u0113dzienos, atbilsto\u0161os vi\u0146a audzin\u0101\u0161anai, izgl\u012bt\u012bbai un kult\u016brai. Es neticu, ka ir iesp\u0113jams vai pat v\u0113lams, ka cilv\u0113ciskais kan\u0101ls paliek piln\u012bgi mal\u0101 priek\u0161 t\u0101, lai rad\u012btu \u201ct\u012bru kan\u0101lu\u201d nefizisk\u0101s b\u016bt\u012bbas ener\u0123ijas p\u0101rraid\u012b\u0161anai. Es dom\u0101ju, ka kan\u0101la pr\u0101ta st\u0101voklis, apzin\u0101t\u012bba un v\u0101rdu kr\u0101jums \u013coti stipri ietekm\u0113 to, kas izn\u0101k no t\u0101 \u0101r\u0101. Pat, ja kan\u0101ls atrodas dzi\u013c\u0101 trans\u0101, – vi\u0146\u0161 ir uztv\u0113r\u0113js, trauks un, t\u0101dej\u0101di, materi\u0101la l\u012bdzrad\u012bt\u0101js. Es uzskatu, ka ir nepareizi pie\u0146emt, ka \u010denelers var pie\u0146emt s\u016bt\u012bjumu piln\u012bgi \u201cno \u0101rpuses\u201d, nepiedaloties taj\u0101. Es ticu, ka s\u016bt\u012bjums atn\u0101k no \u201ciek\u0161ienes\u201d, caur vi\u0146a apzi\u0146u, papla\u0161in\u0101tu ar gar\u012bg\u0101 skolot\u0101ja apzi\u0146u, un ka \u010denelinga kvalit\u0101te ne tik daudz ir atkar\u012bga no att\u0101luma, kur\u0101 \u010denelers var att\u0101lin\u0101t sevi, k\u0101 no abu, k\u0101 \u010denelera, t\u0101 ar\u012b vi\u0146a p\u0101rraid\u012bt\u0101s b\u016bt\u012bbas, sasniegt\u0101 apzin\u0101t\u012bbas l\u012bme\u0146a. \u010cenelings \u2013 t\u0101, p\u0113c b\u016bt\u012bbas, ir l\u012bdz-rad\u012b\u0161ana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0101 spriest par \u010denelinga inform\u0101cijas kvalit\u0101ti.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010cenelings var b\u016bt br\u012bni\u0161\u0137\u012bgs un iedvesmojo\u0161s. Bet tas var vest ar\u012b pie absurda, tuk\u0161\u0101m fr\u0101z\u0113m vai pie bai\u013cu un moraliz\u0113\u0161anas pilniem b\u0113du st\u0101stiem. Slikt\u0101kaj\u0101 gad\u012bjum\u0101 tas ved pie autorit\u0101\u0161u kulta, kuras nedod neko, iz\u0146emot v\u0101rdus vai rangus k\u0101d\u0101 neredzam\u0101 gar\u012bg\u0101 hierarhij\u0101. Iluzoru autorit\u0101\u0161u mekl\u0113\u0161ana \u0101rpus\u0113 \u2013 vai gan ne pret to m\u016bs br\u012bdin\u0101ja visi gar\u012bgie skolot\u0101ji? Tas fakts, ka m\u016bsu priek\u0161\u0101 ir \u010denelinga inform\u0101cija, absol\u016bti neko nepasaka par t\u0101s kvalit\u0101ti. Zin\u0101tnes filozofij\u0101 t\u0101s novirziens, kur\u0161 p\u0113ta, kas padara zin\u0101tnisku teoriju par \u201czin\u0101tnisku\u201d un uztic\u012bbu pelno\u0161u, – t\u0101 ir der\u012bga norobe\u017eo\u0161ana, veikta starp \u201catkl\u0101juma kontekstu\u201d un \u201cpamatojuma kontekstu\u201d. Tas, kas noved pie atkl\u0101juma zin\u0101tnisk\u0101 teorij\u0101, nek\u0101di neietekm\u0113 to, vai tas ir pamatojams. Zin\u0101tnieks var uzb\u016bv\u0113t jebkuru teoriju p\u0113c savas v\u0113l\u0113\u0161an\u0101s, pa\u013caujoties uz person\u012bgiem sap\u0146iem, asoci\u0101cij\u0101m un priek\u0161statiem, ta\u010du vienreiz noformul\u0113ta, t\u0101 ir pak\u013cauta spriedumam atbilsto\u0161i visp\u0101rpie\u0146emtiem krit\u0113rijiem, t\u0101diem k\u0101 emp\u012brisk\u0101 pamatojam\u012bba, konsekvence, ener\u0123ijas izskaidrojam\u012bba un t\u0101 t\u0101l\u0101k. T\u0101dej\u0101di, atkl\u0101juma kontekst\u0101 aiziet viss, bet pamatojuma kontekst\u0101 teorijai ir j\u0101atbilst noteiktiem kvalit\u0101tes standartiem, lai to nov\u0113rt\u0113tu zin\u0101tnisk\u0101 sabiedr\u012bba. Es dom\u0101ju, kas tas pats attiecas ar\u012b uz \u010denelinga materi\u0101lu. S\u016bt\u012bjumam ir j\u0101b\u016bt nov\u0113rt\u0113jamam p\u0113c tiem pa\u0161iem standartiem k\u0101 gar\u012bgs teksts no \u201cparasta cilv\u0113ka\u201d. Cik liel\u0101 m\u0113r\u0101 tas ir saprotams, vai papildina j\u016bsu zin\u0101\u0161anu ar jaunu sapratni, vai iedvesmo j\u016bs uz liel\u0101ku m\u012blest\u012bbu pret sevi, vai j\u016btat, ka \u0161is s\u016bt\u012bjums padara j\u016bs gai\u0161u un pace\u013c j\u016bs? Es dom\u0101ju, ka, ja atbilde ir \u201cj\u0101\u201d, tad jaut\u0101jumi par to, kas ir \u010denelers un no kurienes s\u016bt\u012bjums ir par\u0101d\u012bjies (atkl\u0101juma konteksts), ir sal\u012bdzino\u0161i nesvar\u012bgi. Pier\u0101d\u012bjums ir pa\u0161\u0101 \u201cpudi\u0146\u0101\u201d, nevis t\u0101, kas to sagatavojis, sagaid\u0101maj\u0101 rang\u0101 vai status\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mana \u010denelera pieredze.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kad es vadu Je\u0161ua \u010denelingu, es j\u016btu sevi ne maz\u0101ku, bet liel\u0101ku. Es j\u016btu, ka vi\u0146a ener\u0123ija pal\u012bdz man pacelties l\u012bdz mana Augst\u0101k\u0101 Es virsotn\u0113m. Es dom\u0101ju, ka vi\u0146\u0161 faktiski kalpo par savienojo\u0161o posmu starp manu \u201cmaz\u0101ko, ikdieni\u0161\u0137o\u201d un \u201clielo Es\u201d, pal\u012bdzot man nedaudz vair\u0101k to iemiesot. Katru reizi, kad es to at\u013cauju, un vi\u0146\u0161 to dara, es v\u0113l nedaudz papla\u0161inu savu apzin\u0101t\u012bbu, un tas iespaido manis pa\u0161as izaugsmi un pastiprin\u0101jumu. Vienreiz es veicu \u010denelingu (Attiec\u012bbas Jaunaj\u0101 \u0112r\u0101), kur\u0101 es tik sp\u0113c\u012bgi sajutu mana Augst\u0101k\u0101 Es kl\u0101tb\u016btni (kuru es saucu par Aur\u0113liju), ka s\u0101ku \u0161aub\u012bties, vai tas v\u0113l joproj\u0101m ir Je\u0161ua \u010denelings. Taj\u0101 vakar\u0101 es vi\u0146am pajaut\u0101ju pirms miega, un vi\u0146\u0161 pateica man kaut ko \u013coti m\u012b\u013cu: \u201cVienm\u0113r atceries. Es \u0161eit esmu priek\u0161 tevis, nevis tu priek\u0161 manis.\u201d Man viss k\u013cuva \u013coti skaidrs. Visi m\u0113s esam dom\u0101ti tam, lai iemiesotu savu Augst\u0101ko Es \u0161eit, uz Zemes. Skolot\u0101ji n\u0101k pal\u012bdz\u0113t mums \u0161aj\u0101 ce\u013c\u0101, un, ja tas ir \u012bsts skolot\u0101js, tad vi\u0146\u0161 vai vi\u0146a pal\u012bdz\u0113s mums tik, cik nepiecie\u0161ams, bet p\u0113c tam aties mal\u0101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je\u0161ua v\u0113l joproj\u0101m ir ar mani, kaut ar\u012b es j\u016btu, ka jau \u201cnekontakt\u0113jos\u201d ar vi\u0146u tik daudz, k\u0101 tas bija s\u0101kum\u0101. Bie\u017ei \u0161odien, kad es uzdodu vi\u0146am person\u012bgu jaut\u0101jumu, vi\u0146\u0161 jaut\u0101 man: \u201cKo tu paties\u012bb\u0101 saj\u016bti \u0161aj\u0101 sakar\u0101?\u201d Un, kad es fokus\u0113jos uz to, tad atrodu atbildi jau tur, n\u0101ko\u0161u no manis pa\u0161as iek\u0161\u0113j\u0101s zin\u0101\u0161anas un intu\u012bcijas. T\u0101dej\u0101di, Je\u0161ua mudina visus m\u016bs piepras\u012bt savu pa\u0161a sp\u0113ku un uzskat\u012bt \u010denelingu k\u0101 l\u012bdzekli, bet ne k\u0101 gala rezult\u0101tu. Iesp\u0113jams, vienreiz es b\u016b\u0161u sp\u0113j\u012bga novad\u012bt \u010denelingu ar savu pa\u0161as Augst\u0101ko jeb Kristus Es, vairs necerot uz Je\u0161ua. Esmu p\u0101rliecin\u0101ta \u2013 vi\u0146\u0161 pirmais man aplaud\u0113s!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je\u0161ua \u010deneling\u0101<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Es beig\u0161u ar \u201c\u010denelingu \u010deneling\u0101\u201d, ar da\u017eiem Je\u0161ua v\u0101rdiem par vi\u0146a attieksmi pret mani k\u0101 kan\u0101lu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010cenelings \u2013 tas ir ce\u013c\u0161 tuvoties sev ar citas \u2013 nefiziskas b\u016bt\u012bbas \u2013 pal\u012bdz\u012bbu. \u0160\u012b b\u016bt\u012bba uz laiku sp\u0113l\u0113 skolot\u0101ja lomu. Skolot\u0101ja ener\u0123ija pal\u012bdz jums sasniegt sevis pa\u0161a dzi\u013c\u0101ku l\u012bmeni. Skolot\u0101ja ener\u0123ija pace\u013c j\u016bs virs bail\u0113m, aiz\u0113nojo\u0161\u0101m j\u016bsu <\/em>pa\u0161u gaismu. Skolot\u0101js par\u0101da jums j\u016bsu pa\u0161u gaismu. Vi\u0146\u0161 par to zina vair\u0101k k\u0101 j\u016bs pa\u0161i. Tikko \u0161\u012b gaisma, j\u016bsu iek\u0161\u0113j\u0101 zin\u0101\u0161ana, k\u013c\u016bst pieejama jums, skolot\u0101js k\u013c\u016bst lieks. J\u016bs tad varat p\u0101rvad\u012bt j\u016bsu pa\u0161u gaismu. Skolot\u0101jam vairs nav j\u0101darbojas k\u0101 tiltam starp jums un j\u016bsu Augst\u0101ko Es.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pagaid\u0101m es atg\u0101dinu jums j\u016bsu pa\u0161u gaismu. Es atstaroju atpaka\u013c jums j\u016bsu pa\u0161u di\u017eenumu Je\u0161ua Ben Josefa form\u0101. Man\u012b j\u016bs redzat sevi, j\u016bsu Kristus Es, ta\u010du j\u016bs v\u0113l ne piln\u012bb\u0101 to esat apzin\u0101ju\u0161ies. Es l\u012bdzinos atg\u0101din\u0101jumam jums, mana ener\u0123ija kalpo par b\u0101ku. Es pal\u012bdzu jums dzi\u013c\u0101k iepaz\u012bties ar j\u016bsu Kristus Es. Pamaz\u0101m vi\u0146\u0161 <\/em>izn\u0101ks priek\u0161pl\u0101n\u0101, bet es atie\u0161u atpaka\u013c. Un tas ir pareizi. T\u0101 ar\u012b ir j\u0101b\u016bt. Neaizmirsiet, \u0161aj\u0101s attiec\u012bb\u0101s es \u0161eit esmu priek\u0161 jums, bet ne j\u016bs priek\u0161 manis. Es neesmu m\u0113r\u0137is, bet gan l\u012bdzeklis. Kristus atdzim\u0161ana \u2013 t\u0101 ir j\u016bsu Kristus Es, nevis mana, pamo\u0161an\u0101s. Es darbojos saska\u0146\u0101 ar to, kas kalpo j\u016bsu Augst\u0101kajam Es. Mans m\u0113r\u0137is \u2013 lai j\u016bs padar\u012btu manu kl\u0101tb\u016btni nevajadz\u012bgu. Kad j\u016bs p\u0101rvad\u0101t manu ener\u0123iju, necentieties k\u013c\u016bt maz\u0101ki vai neredzami. Es gribu, lai j\u016bs padar\u0101t sevi liel\u0101kus, sajustu savu \u012bsteno sp\u0113ku, kur\u0161 n\u0101k no jums un apgaismo pasauli.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skolot\u0101js par\u0101da ce\u013cu, ta\u010du pa to j\u0101iet jums. P\u0113c k\u0101da laika j\u016bs konstat\u0113siet, ka ejat vienatn\u0113, atst\u0101jot skolot\u0101ju aiz sevis. Tas ir di\u017eens un sakr\u0101ls br\u012bdis. Skolot\u0101js paliek ar jums, dz\u012bvos j\u016bsu sird\u012b k\u0101 iek\u0161\u0113ja kl\u0101tb\u016btne, ta\u010du k\u0101 atsevi\u0161\u0137a fig\u016bra vi\u0146\u0161 pazud\u012bs. M\u0113s paliksim saist\u012bti, ta\u010du l\u012bdz ar j\u016bsu izaugsmi j\u016bs arvien maz\u0101k un maz\u0101k <\/em>redz\u0113siet mani vai v\u0113l\u0113sieties pasaukt mani k\u0101 atsevi\u0161\u0137u b\u016bt\u012bbu. Pamaz\u0101m es k\u013c\u016b\u0161u par j\u016bsu pa\u0161u ener\u0123ijas da\u013cu. Taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 br\u012bd\u012b j\u016bs vairs nevar\u0113siet atdal\u012bt mani no sevis. Tas ar\u012b par\u0101d\u012bs, ka patie\u0161\u0101m dzirdat un redzat mani.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je\u0161ua, 2006. gada vasara<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a9 Pamela Kribbe<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pamela Rose Kribbe (1968) str\u0101d\u0101 k\u0101 psihes las\u012bt\u0101ja, dziedin\u0101t\u0101ja sav\u0101 pa\u0161as praks\u0113 Tilburg\u0101, Holande. Ir ieguvusi doktora gr\u0101du zin\u0101tnes filozofij\u0101 1977. gad\u0101, p\u0113c filozofijas studij\u0101m Leidenes, Nijmegenas un Harvardas (ASV) universit\u0101t\u0113s. Biogr\u0101fija \u0160aj\u0101 biogr\u0101fij\u0101 es nedaudz vair\u0101k run\u0101ju par sevi un savu gar\u012bgo att\u012bst\u012bbu. Daudzi ir man jaut\u0101ju\u0161i, k\u0101 es non\u0101cu pie \u010denelingiem un…<\/p>\n

Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kas-mes-esam"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":306,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions\/306"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeshua.net\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}